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Eat, Sleep, Code. Yeah man this is how we do it. I don’t know if it’s just me but I have a feeling that every coder has a set of functions, much like c functions that are their daily lives you know.

So if eat, sleep and code are variables of a function. What then would we call that function? Well it can’t be the main because the main is…well the function of life, existence and so on. It’s the main man if you’d like. So maybe call it ft_dpr() meaning function_dailyprogrammerroutine. Now this got me thinking what other daily functions does a programmer’s life/main consist of.

Well we have the ft_mrp()-function morning routine prep. Now this function is your wake up variable, remember that no-matter how early you up or how late you sleep, you’ll never be up to date with your code variable, there’s a man I need to eat better variable, a was that thing today sub-function and my personal favourite, am I a better coder than I was sub-function. Also the ft_mrp() is cool cause it’s a recursive function. The increment depends on an age function that returns a value that ensures you keep waking up until one day you don’t. Well…that got dark fast. Anyway, enough with the morning function I think we can all agree that it’s, well yeah.

So now that we awake we need a ft_wynfd() – function, what you need for the day. This function is  every programmers bread and butter. I mean especially at wtc. Because without this function you forget your headsets and have to spend the whole day listening to people sing along to the music coming from their headsets. Which doesn’t come out as right as they think it does, hey. It’s also one of my personal favourite functions because it’s the kind of function that has more nested if statements than the mind of a kid in a toy shop with a limited budget.

Talking of limits one of the functions, also called by a coders main happens to be the ft_ryhlt() – function remember that you have limited time. Now I’ll be honest with you. This function takes more variables, sub-functions, recursive calls and conditions than it’s humanly possible to remember. It’s a very complex function is what I’m trying to say. In fact it’s so complex that as I am writing this sentence right here I have no idea how I’ll be able to express it.

So how do I begin. An algorithm would be nice right about now hey. Anyway in the spirit of pretending as if we have already described the function and its internal workings. Imagine a world without the functionality of functions. In that same breath imagine a program without functions? For those that could, bad news. By the act of imagining you were following a set of functions to imagine the very thing you were trying to imagine living without. Functionality. To be a function is to have functionality. This doesn’t make the functionality productive or otherwise, just functional.

The aim is to make good functions, brilliant functions, extraordinary functions. Like falling in love. The best function ever. It’s so good that when it crashes. It will be a while before all the other functions restore order. Let’s not forget passion. Passion is the function that keeps the code working. It’s what makes it better. It’s the reason updates exist. It’s why we are coders.

So keep functioning and who knows maybe one day. You’ll be the main that makes the world execute. Or in the least contribute towards it. That’s not a bad job for a function. Considering there’s a function out there whose functionality is to simply not, function.

M. Makwakwa

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